 cakebelly says: Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom! --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I went to the dentist. He said 'Say Aaah.' I said 'Why?' He said 'My dog's died.' --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' ------------------------------------------------------------------- So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you' --------------------------------------------------------------------- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. --------------------------------------------------------------------- So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swer... So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' --------------------------------------------------------------------- Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?' --------------------------------------------------------------------- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. -------------------------------------------... A man walked into the doctors, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said, 'well don't go to those places' --------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the n... My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. --------------------------------------------------------------------- A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a mussel. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft. It sank, proving once and for all that ... I'll be telling these for weeks to come. Just like that!  Just like that - huh...? He,He.He,He,funny!!!boom boom!  Bless your cotton socks, like is too serious sometimes it is refreshing and geat feeling to have a laugh.I told my chinese pen friend one that Confucious say "Girl who fly upside down ,head for crack up" I now got more ammo to baffle her with ,thanks.The "1 in 5" for starters! |
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